Clan MacHare


The once great and mighty Clan MacHare fought bravely for King James VIII and Bonnie Prince Charlie during the Jacobite Wars. [To the left you see a fierce MacHare, his claymore cleverly disguised as an umbrella, checking to see how much longer till his customary five o'clock martini.]

After the Forty Five, when the English dog Cumberland began his campaign to murder the entire male population of Scotland, a few MacHares fled to Nova Scotia and eventually settled in Maryland, where their fierceness (much abated) was now employed in ripping apart crabs rather than Whigs.

Ever ready for the day that the MacHares will be called upon again to fight to restore the rightful Monarch to Scotland, the present Chief of Clan MacHare lives a quiet family life dividing time between God's Holy Maryland and the tropical paradise of the Philippines.

The Laird of the Rocks is the creation myth of Clan MacHare.


MacHare Facts

MacHares are somewhat like their distant cousins, The Hobbits. You can tell what a MacHare will say on any question without the bother of asking him.

Clan Slogan: Whiskey Straight

Politics: Jacobite

Whiskey: Glenfiddich

Gin: Gilbey's

Religion: Catholic

Books by the bedside: The Bible and Boswell's Life of Johnson ("and there's an end on it.")

Car: 1996 Chevrolet Impala SS

Favorite Vacation: The Philippines

Favorite Jazz Artist: Duke Ellington

Favorite Blues Artist: Howlin' Wolf

Favorite Rock Artist: The Rolling Stones

Favorite Composers: J.S. Bach, Duke Ellington, Frank Zappa

Favorite Actors: Tim Curry, Jack Nicholson, Sean Connery

Favorite Actress: Hsu Chi

Favorite Movie: Fellini's Amarcord

Favorite Male Vocalists: Frank Sinatra, Johnny Hartman

Favorite Female Vocalist: Billie Holiday

Favorite Song: Stormy Monday/Bobby "Blue" Bland

Favorite Album: Good Morning Mr Blues/Otis Spann